Drink wine and go to heaven
The news came through last week that the French and Italians have been comprehensively upstaged in their per capita consumption of wine. By – guess who? The Vatican.
The Vatican drinks more than 72 litres per capita: around 10 litres per head more wine than either France or Italy.
It confirms what we’ve always thought about the clergy.
Of course, there’s a longstanding historical link between wine and the church.
The ancient Greeks and Romans may have introduced the vine to many European countries but it was the monks took up the cudgels and perfected the viticulture and winemaking.
Monks were not only great winegrowers but great wine drinkers, and you know what they say about monks and wine? Drink wine and you’ll get drunk; get drunk and you’ll go to sleep; go to sleep and you won’t sin; don’t sin and you’ll go to heaven. Therefore, drink wine and go to heaven.